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SAMEENA SITABKHAN
Production Assistant
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While attending the Southern California Institute of Architecture, where she received her Masters Degree in Architectonics, Sameena Sitabkhan stumbled across filmmaker Christopher Alan Broadstone lurking in the corridors and generally wondering why he was alive. For some bizarre reason (which is still a mystery to this day), Sameena thought it was a good idea to fraternize with the gloomy filmmaker and led him to a sushi restaurant in a sordid arts district near Skid Row on the eastside of downtown Los Angeles. It was here, over a period of several weeks, that each of them poured numerous Korean beers into their heads and nibbled on various Asian delicacies (that fortunately had nothing to do with raw fish). It was also here that Sameena made her second ponderous mistake, and offered her services as Production Assistant to Christopher, who was sweating out his formidable pre-production of HUMAN NO MORE. Unfortunately for Sameena, she didn’t realize what she’d gotten herself into until it was just too damn late, ultimately finding herself trapped for days in a squalid, cockroach-ridden basement buried in the nose of an abandoned freight depot. Forced to execute many grueling tasks, as well as keep her stomach down, Sameena was also faced with the daunting torment of working directly with the relentless, skirt-chasing Director of Photography Schwarz Nipfargen. Oh dear...poor, poor Sameena. Yet in spite of all her suffering, Sameena did manage to escape. And not only with her life, but with her virtue still intact! Her psyche, on the other hand, has been scarred permanently.

The perennial globetrotter (or maybe she’s just trying to keep one step ahead of that womanizing bastard Schwarz Nipfargen), Sameena can often be found walking the streets of France, India, China, or Spain. When the sun goes down, however, she generally moves indoors and haunts the nearest seedy bar she can find. Recently, she was seen at just such a bar in Barcelona, pouring more beers into her head while touring the life story of some nice old lady who was also pouring beers into her head (Sameena’s head, that is).

On occasion Sameena does dare to return to Los Angeles, where she farms herself out as an architect and web designer at a local firm. She’s also forever cured of any desire to work on films of any kind. Especially those made by you know who.

Oh, poor Sameena...

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