Rick Wildridge has worked as Assistant Director on Christopher Alan Broadstone’s SCREAM FOR ME, MY SKIN!, and now HUMAN NO MORE. He also played the notorious portrait of George, and George himself, in the flashback sequences of MY SKIN. A dedicated husband and father of three, Rick does his best to leave the country whenever possible –– traveling to exotic locales under the guise of an international businessman working for a corporation that makes and sells aircraft that kill people. Most recently he was cast out of Mongolia, for unexplained reasons, and the border closed to him indefinitely. Using the sudden Mongolian expulsion to his advantage, Rick fled to Utah and then Los Angeles for apparently mundane (although most certainly spurious) business meetings with those who also claim to make and sell aircraft that kill people. But enough of this nonsense! Let the truth be told! Thanks to Black Cab Productions’ seemingly unbreakable ties to the less than savory types (most notably Schwarz Nipfargen and Cole Adam Buisson) that continually scour the underbelly of life for cheap thrills, the truth about Rick Wildridge has finally been exposed. A simple business trip to Salt Lake City and L.A., he still claims, but we at BCP say business, schmusiness! Special Agent J.R. Wildridge was actually following Mongolian leads in attempt to uncover who was really behind Dubai’s attempt to take over US ports. And guess who it was? The Mormons –– the granddaddy sleeper cell of all sleeper cells! Yes, it’s those sex- and power-hungry polygamists (who, by the way, are not unlike the US-hating Arabs with their harems) that have been secretly supporting the terrorist arm of the U.A.E. for a century. The Dubai Ports World cabal was just another of their greatest –– and most top secret (if you don’t count their laundering of Bin Laden 9/11 funds) –– efforts to undermine America and God-fearing democracy. All of this might seem ludicrous, but we at BCP certainly find it odd that the minute Dubai Ports World announced they were abandoning efforts to infiltrate US harbors, supposed big-time international businessman Rick Wildridge changed his all-important business plans in favor of three days of feasting on Brazilian beef, binge drinking, and music CD and porn collecting. It was also during this time that the inebriated Special Agent J.R. Wildridge spoke at swaggering length about the as yet unrealized connection between the Arab turban and the “magic underwear” worn by the Mormons. We at BCP would love to expand on that further, but already fear the purportedly superior-built Mormon car bombs they’ve recently heard about in great, and unsettling, detail. Thanks, Schwarz...

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